Exactly right. Aside from my family and a friend or two who don't live in my city, I've been pretty much alone for the last two years. I've always been afraid of personal contact, of letting people inside my personal space, yet at the same time I need it, which makes for a nice contradiction. You know the way we humans are, we don't always make much sense.
Yesterday I just had like a divine realization that spending time on my computer has been pretty much a reflex when I'm home alone ever since I've lived alone, for two years like I said. I went from living with my best friend to having no real friend except one that I only get to see once every 2 or 3 weeks. Talking on the phone or chating no the web are nothing compared to spending time, doing anything, with someone in real life.
What I need is to try and create my own social circle, something I should have done years ago but just was too afraid to do (there's a reason I've been seeing as psychologist for the last few years; I have a lot of fear issues despite there being no real trauma being it all)
I'll keep visiting here during the day at least, but I'm afraid I won't be contributing much in actual maps for a while, not until I've learned to be reasonable in the time I spend online.
But make no mistake, I'm glad to have this place to talk with people
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably." [...] The first time any man's freedom is trodden on, we're all damaged. - Captain Jean-Luc Picard
B*tch, meet reality. Reality, meet b*tch. - Me
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